


Back to December

by Ariah_Rogers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, F/M, Fem!Cap, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Major character death - Freeform, Starbucks, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-08 19:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariah_Rogers/pseuds/Ariah_Rogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stucky AU fic based on RPs between my fem!Cap on tumblr and one of my friends Bucky. Doesn't coincide with CAtWS (or the comics completely). At times I will use pieces of our RPs and memes we've answered. All writing is my own doing though (cause I just take themes of the RPs and rewrite them to fit). Chapter titles based on Taylor Swift songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back to December

_ Stacey walked around in her small apartment in Stark Tower. She had moved in shortly after the repairs were finished. Slowly after she had moved in, the other Avengers had moved into their apartments there as well, preferring them over what SHIELD had given them for housing (with the exceptions of Tony and Bruce because he never was officially a SHIELD agent, Thor barely lived on Earth so he didn't matter in the first place). _

Stacey walked into her bedroom, straight up to the large window, watching as the snow fell quietly around the city. She shivered and then jumped when JARVIS interrupted her thoughts, still unused to the disembodied voice.

_“_ __ Do you need me to adjust the temperature Captain?” _ _

“No thank you JARVIS, I'm fine. Just got a chill,” she replied as she walked over to her bed, slipping under the covers.

_“_ __ Would you like me to play some music?” _ _

Stacey chuckled and shook her head. “No thank you JARVIS,” she replied as she closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep slowly.

__ Bucky’s missing. Found Bucky, safe. HYDRA plant after HYDRA plant taken down. So much violence. _ _

Stacey began to toss and turn in her bed, trying to force herself awake. She knew what was coming next. She doesn't want to relive the memory though.

__ Snow covered mountain. Small window of opportunity. Bucky and her land on the train and work their way into it. They get separated. Stacey fights one guy off and then tries to get over to Bucky. Bucky and her fighting the last HYDRA agent. They got him now. Side of train is blown off. Bucky gets the agent. Agent pulls Bucky with him. Stacey keeps reaching for Bucky. She can't reach. If she tries harder. She can do it. She has to save him. Bucky falls and- falls. _ _

Stacey screamed, bolting upright in her bed. Panting, she wiped at the sweat on her forehead. She walked over to her bathroom and throws cold water on her face, her breathing calming slowly. She made her way back to the bedroom and looked over at the alarm clock.

“4: 30, that's a bit more than normal,” she said sighing as she decided to start making her way up to the communal kitchen. She started the coffee for the others, knowing that Clint and Natasha would be waking up soon as she made herself a cup of tea. She sat down on the couch and stared out across the snow covered city.

She never heard Clint walk in and make his cup, plopping down in the chair near her. “You screamed again. Fourth time this week,” he said softly, causing her to stop her train of thought and look over at him.

“Did I wake you?”

Clint shook his head. “No. Do you want to talk about it?”

Stacey shook her head as she stood up, walking over to the sink.

“Come on Cap, you need to talk about it. You're waking up screaming. You've been doing it ever since you first woke up,” he begged, turning in the chair to look at her.

Stacey slammed her cup down into the sink, placing her hands on the side of it, gripping the counter tightly. “I don't want to talk about it,” she said after a while as she turned to walk out the door. “If anyone needs me, I'm gonna change and then I'll be in the gym.” Clint watched her wordlessly, sighing as he drank his coffee, too used to the routine.

Stacey stopped by her apartment and changed out of her pajamas into her workout clothes. She proceeded to head down to the gym, setting up the punching bag that Tony and Bruce designed to withhold her strength without flying across the room. She wrapped her hands and began hitting the bag. Each punch, bringing up a flash of a memory, her speed picking up quickly until she kicked it. She put her arms out to steady the bag, noting Fury's presence.

“What do you want Fury?” She growled as she began hitting the bag again, this time at a slower pace.

“You might want to step away from the punching bag Captain. I've decided it's time to tell you something,” he replied simply, a few agents standing behind him. Stacey looked over at him before stopping the bag again and walking over to him.

“Tell me what?” She asked staring up at him, ignoring the agents that slowly formed a circle around her and Fury.

“Sargent James Buchanan Barnes is alive,” Fury said looking down at her. Stacey shook her head and reached for Fury, only to be stopped by two agents. She shook her arms free from them and glared at him.

“He's dead Fury. I know this because I watched him die with my own eyes. If you think this is some kind of funny trick, stop it now. It's not funny. You have no idea how hard his death was for me,” she growled, her hands clenching. “So why are you here?”

Fury pulled out a file, opening it up and turning it so she could see it's contents. “Is this proof enough for you?”

Stacey read over the file quickly, her vision turning red. She went to punch Fury and the agents tried to stop her. In a few seconds, all of them were on the ground and Stacey had a firm grasp on Fury's coat, pulling him down so he was eye level with her. “It says here that he's been alive and you've known about it since before I even woke up!”

Fury stared at her remaining perfectly calm. “If you had read further, you would've known that he was a part of a Russian Program called the Red Room. He had been brainwashed and trained as an assassin. After Natasha had told us about the program and found out that he was your friend, she helped us work to take it down and get him out. We've spent the past year trying to recover his memories.”

“You should've told me Fury! I could've helped! He was my best friend,” Stacey yelled at him, her grip loosening slightly. “Where is he?”

“That's not a good idea Captain.”

“WHERE IS HE FURY?”

Fury decided to stay silent as Natasha came in, walking over to them and placing a hand on Stacey's shoulder. “I know where he is. I'll bring you there.” Stacey let go of Fury and nodded, following Natasha out of the gym to the elevator. Natasha handed her some clothes, a jacket, and boots to put on over what she was wearing. Stacey quickly put them on and followed Natasha out to the car.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Stacey asked quietly once they were in the car.

“I didn't think it was the right time. We had just gotten him out when you woke up, and then New York happened, and we were working on recovering the memories the Russians had taken away from him,” Natasha replied as she began to drive.

Stacey nodded softly and stared out the window. “How much does he remember.... About before?”

Natasha sighed and parked the car in front of an apartment building. “Not much. It comes and goes for him.”

Stacey nodded and stared at the building in front of them. “What number?”

“23,” Natasha replied simply. “He's home now. Go.”

Stacey slipped out of the car as soon as Natasha had told her the apartment number. She ran inside the building, quickly finding number 23. She stared at the door, raising her hand to knock before lowering it again, scared of what would happen if he answered. She stood there for minutes before running back to the car.

“I can't do it. Bring me back, please,” she said softly as she buckled herself in. Natasha stared at her sadly for a moment before nodding and driving them back to Stark Tower. When they got back, Stacey went to her apartment and locked herself in for the rest of the night.

She woke up the next morning, screaming again and followed her normal routine after a nightmare. She stopped in the door way of the kitchen when she saw a familiar silhouette standing at the stove. She stood there, watching for a while before finally coughing awkwardly, grabbing the mans attention.

“Bucky,” she said, his name coming out barely above a whisper.

“Hello Stacey, it's been a while, hasn't it?” Bucky replied awkwardly shifting on his feet. “I made pancakes.”

Stacey stared at him for a few more minutes before turning and running back to her apartment, slamming the door behind her. Her back hit the door and she slid down, bringing her knees to her chest as she cried. Bucky was alive. Bucky was here. In Stark Tower, and he was trying to act as if she had never watched him die. It was just too much. She couldn't handle it, and she had ran.

She heard a knock at the door and she calmed herself enough to speak. “Go away. I don't want to talk right now.”

Bucky sighed and leaned against the door, sliding down so he was mirroring Stacey. “I realize that what I said was not the best way to say hello after what happened.”

Stacey laughed weakly. “You think so? I watched you die Bucky and here you are alive and all you can say is long time no see, want some pancakes? I know you're stupid, but I didn't think you were that stupid.”

Bucky laughed, covering his face with his hand. “Like you're any better in social situations yourself,” he replied softly. “Look, I know that this is hard for you. It's hard for me too. Natasha forced herself into my apartment last night and told me that I was moving into here that moment. I tried to tell her that I couldn't because you didn't know that I was alive, but she told me that they had told you yesterday before she came over.”

Stacey sat there listening to him. “They did, I beat up several agents and nearly knocked out Fury.” She leaned her head back, resting it against the door as she stared at the ceiling. “I'm sorry Bucky.”

“You don't have to apologize Stace, really. You really don't have to apologize,” Bucky replied sighing. “I understand. You tried to save me.”

Stacey shook her head, tears falling again. “I could've tried harder though dammit! You shouldn't have fallen.”

Bucky turned and pressed his hand against the door, his head resting on it. “No. You did enough. You can't save everyone.”

“I know I can't save everyone. But I should've been able to save you,” Stacey replied as she stood up and raised her hand to touch the door knob, trying to decide if she should open it. She heard Bucky stand up as well and she opened the door. She looked at him, noting the changes. Her eyes stopped when she noticed his metal arm. He followed her gaze and took a deep breath.

“I lost it in the fall, the Russians gave me this as a replacement,” Bucky explained holding it out for her to look at closer. She nodded, reaching out and touching the smooth metal. She stood there wordlessly for a long time before tears started to fall again. He stepped forward and pulled her into a tight hug, on hand resting on top of her head, the other on her lower back. “I'm here Stace. I'm ok. I promise.”

She gripped his shirt tightly and nodded. “I know. I've missed you so much you jerk.”

“I've missed you too punk,” he replied smiling.

She laughed weakly and pulled away from him. “So which apartment is yours?”

“The one right next to yours actually.”

She smiled at him. “Just like old times.”

He smiled weakly, wiping away her tears. “Yeah, just like old times.”

 


	2. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacey and Bucky try to resume their former friendship, but their past threatens to tear them apart even more.

_After a while, Stacey turned away and walked into her apartment. She coughed slightly and motioned for Bucky to come in. He closed the door and sat down in a chair, looking around the small living room._

“It's very simple,” he stated looking over at her as she messed around in her kitchen.

Stacey nodded, pulling down a box and making herself a cup of tea. “Do you want something to drink?”

He shook his head. “Not unless you have alcohol.”

She turned to face him, cradling her cup of tea. “I don't have any. I don't drink it because I can't get drunk. I found out.... I found it out the day you fell. Peggy found me in a bar trying to drink myself into oblivion,” she replied softly, staring into her cup.

Bucky stared at her, his fist clenching. “Stacey.... Please don't think about that.”

Stacey looked up at him. “I can't help it Bucky,” she replied putting her cup down. “Natasha said that they.... That they took your memories.”

Bucky nodded, looking away. “Yeah. I can remember bits of it thanks to SHIELD, but I don't remember much about.... About who I used to be.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. She walked over to her room, grabbing a small book. She walked back out and sat down next to Bucky, placing the book on the table.

“In there are pictures from before. Peggy had grabbed them from my old place after they thought I died. She had kept them in hopes of me coming back someday,” she explained, opening the book to reveal several photos. She flipped through the pages, stopping at a certain photo. “This one was taken shortly before you were shipped off. You said we were going to the future when it was really just a fair. Maybe it could help.”

Bucky looked over at the book, staring at the photo. He tried to remember what she was talking about. He focused on the black and white, on his shorter hair, on Stacey's smaller frame, on how happy they looked together, the laughing faces. “I remember," he lied.

Stacey frowned and closed the book. “I know you well enough to know when you're lying Bucky.”

He sighed and nodded. “I'm sorry Stacey, but I just.... I can't remember. It's all gone.”

She nodded and put the book back in her room. When she came back out, she stood in the doorway. He looked at her with a small frown, knowing she was trapped in her mind again. He walked over to her and gave her a small pat on the shoulder. “I should go,” he said before turning towards the door.

“No,” Stacey replied grabbing his arm. “Please stay.”

Bucky turned and stared at her. “Stacey, I've changed. I'm not the man you used to know. Did they tell you what I do now? I'm an assassin. I kill people. You stand for justice. Me? I don't know what I stand for now, but it's not justice.”

She stared at him sadly, releasing his arm. “Bucky…. Everyone changes over time, so when I woke up after 70 years and found that I missed out on growing up with my friends and watching them change and changing with them, I decided that I wouldn’t care if someone was different from how I once knew them.” She shifted on her feet and walked over to the window. “I just want to still be friends with you.”

He reached out for her before dropping his hand and turning towards the door again. He stopped as he began to open the door. “I'm sorry Stacey, but I don't know if that's going to be possible. You're not gonna like the man I've become.”

After Stacey heard the door close behind him, she let her tears start to fall again. “I don't care. Not when it's you Bucky.”

* * *

Slowly life in Stark Tower returned to normal. People were in and out, completing missions or just taking vacations. Stacey and Bucky tiptoed around each other, sometimes talking about missions and sparring together, but never talking about the past. They didn't want to hurt the other by talking about how everything had changed between them. The others noticed how they acted around each other and didn't bother to mention it, hoping that at some point the pair would wise up and talk about what was going on between them.

One day Stacey walked over to the lab after her morning routine. “Bruce, you in here?”

Bruce turned his head over towards her voice, stopping his experiment. He pulled off his goggles and walked out so she could see him. “What do you need Stacey?”

Stacey sat down in one of the chairs and sighed. “I don't know. I just need to talk with someone, and I figured you'd be the best person to talk with about this.”

Bruce sighed and sat down as well. “I already told Tony this, I'm not that kind of doctor.”

“I know, but I just need help. I'm not gonna go into explicit detail like he does,” she replied with a small chuckle.

“Why don't you talk with Bucky? Surely he knows how to help, he's known you longer than any of us,” he suggested as he leaned back in his chair, resting a hand on his chin.

Stacey shook her head. “That's what I want to talk about though.”

“Oh.”

She leaned back in her chair, running a hand through her hair. “Everything's so difficult now. Most of his memories from before are gone and his personality was changed by the Russians. I had spent so long thinking he was dead only to find out that he wasn't and that Fury and Natasha knew all along. It's just.... I want things to be normal again, but they can't. I can't even relax around him anymore. Things used to be so different between us and now I feel like I'm walking on thin ice around him.”

Bruce listened to her, feeling sorry for what she was going through. He understood her pain, he had felt similar with Betty after the accident. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Things can't return to normal Stacey. You have to accept that things have changed. That you both have changed. You need to talk with him and I mean really talk. If the ice breaks, then it breaks. You'll survive this.”

Stacey looked at him, tears in her eyes as she nodded. She hugged him tightly. “Thank you.”

He was surprised by the hug, unused to anyone hugging him since Betty. He hugged her back awkwardly. “You're welcome Stacey.”


	3. Begin Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacey and Bucky talk about everything that is bothering them, will they be able to finally move on?

_Before she knows it, she’s standing in front of his door trying to decide if she should knock. She knows that she needs to listen to what Bruce told her. She wants to apologize again. She can’t forgive herself for that day. There had been things left unsaid. If she could, she would go back and change what happened. Even if it meant her own death._

Eventually the door opened and she looked up at him. “Bucky….”

Bucky had been sitting in his apartment, trying to avoid thinking of Stacey and the past. When he heard a knock at the door, he frowned and swallowed mouthful of vodka. He opened the door, staring at her with sad eyes. “Hey,” he replied trying to figure out if something was wrong with her. “What's wrong?”

 _Stacey stared at him, hearing his question, but not able to respond. She felt like turning back and running. She always could, it wasn’t too late._ She looked down, took a deep breath, and bit her lip.

"Nothing’s wrong. I…. I just…." She kept trailing off, not able to look at him. "I was talking with Bruce and he suggested that I talk with you about everything.... Then I just ended up here.”

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “I…. I’m sorry for what happened that day. I know I’ve apologized before, but I can’t forgive myself for that day. I should’ve-” She stopped, tears streaming down her face as she looked down again.

He stared down at her and shook his head, closing the door behind her. “Please stop apologizing for what happened,” he replied, tempted to tell her that he barely remembered anything from that day and that it didn't matter to him anymore. "Stacey stop that. You can't stay stuck in the past. We both need to talk about this and move on. I don’t want us to continue tiptoeing around each other."

 _She wiped at her tears. “I should be sorry though._ It hurt so much after wards. I didn’t even get the chance…" she trailed off, not wanting to say anything else. "I can’t…. I want to stop, but I can’t."

He pulled her into a hug. “We have to Stacey. For our benefit. For everyone's actually.”

She held onto to him, knowing he was right, but she couldn't forgive herself quite yet. “I have nightmares about it. It's why I wake up screaming.”

He pulled away and stared at her. “That's why you keep screaming in the middle of the night?”

She nodded weakly and wiped her tears away. He lifted her chin up so she was looking at him. “I.... I didn't know. Please stop crying,” he replied moving his hand so it was cradling her cheek, wiping at her tears with his thumb. She leaned into the touch. “Please Stacey. It hurts to see you crying.”

She smiled weakly at him, trying to stop her tears. “It was the worst day of my life, it haunts me. I remember it every time it snows. That's why I tiptoe around you.”

He stared at her before kissing her forehead softly. “And I tiptoe around you because I'm afraid. I'm not the man you used to know and I know that he is who you want.”

Stacey shook her head. “No, I just want to be your friend again. I don't care if you've changed. I don't want the old Bucky, I just want you.”

Bucky stared at her for a while before hugging her again. “I don't deserve your friendship.”

She hugged him back. “No, you do.”

He chuckled softly. “No more tiptoeing?”

She pulled away and smiled at him. “No more tiptoeing.”

Days passed, and days turned into weeks which turned into months. Life continued on, missions were completed, spars were fought, nightmares dreamt. Through all of it, Stacey and Bucky managed to stay true to their words, not tiptoeing around each other. It ended in fights at times, leaving the other Avengers cringing as doors were slammed or in the occasional case a knife thrown, but they were able to have the do-over they deserved. They bonded again, becoming as inseparable as Clint and Natasha. Often after one came home from a long OP, you could find them in one of their apartments laughing as the other helped take care of any wounds the person had gotten during the OP.

Around Christmas everyone in the Tower began to disappear. First Clint and Natasha were assigned on a highly classified mission, then Thor left for Asgard, followed by Bruce and Tony to go to some science conference in Europe. Stacey and Bucky were the only ones left in the Tower. On Christmas Eve, Stacey was in the communal living room reading a book when Bucky came in.

“Hey Stace,” he greeted, sitting down next to her.

She looked over at him from her book with a small smile. “Bucky.”

He pulled out a bottle of the Asgardian mead that Thor had brought back a few months ago. “Want a drink? It is Christmas Eve after all.”

She chuckled and nodded. “Fine. I wonder if this actually might bypass the serum. Thor said that it's stronger than the stuff here on Earth.”

Bucky put the bottle on the table and grabbed two glasses. He opened it and poured each of them a glass, handing one to Stacey. “Why don't we see?”

“James Barnes, are you trying to get me drunk?” Stacey joked as she took the glass and knocked it against Bucky's.

“It would be a funny sight,” he replied smirking. They both laughed and drank their cups. Bucky shook his head after wards. “He wasn't kidding, that is strong.”

Stacey nodded, putting her glass down. “Yeah, I actually feel a little light headed from drinking that.”

He looked over at her as she spoke, staring at her with a soft gaze. She noticed after a few moments and turned her head to look at him. “What is it Bucky?”

He shook his head and looked away. “Nothing, just thought I remembered something. But it went as fast as it came. Good night Stacey,” he replied standing up and kissing her forehead before leaving for his apartment.

She watched him leave and looked back at the bottle, happy to have found something that possibly made her drunk. She thought about Bucky and how he had looked at her and her feelings for him. She poured herself another small glass and gulped it down before walking down to his door.

She knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. She prepared what she was going to say to him. When the door opened she looked up at him, her words stuck in her throat. He stared at her, waiting for her to say something.

“Screw it,” she said softly before pulling him close and kissing him, letting her actions speak for her. He froze for a moment before bringing his hands up to rest on her waist, pushing them apart.

“Stacey, what are you doing?” He asked panting slightly as he searched her face for answers.

“Something I've wanted to do for a long time,” she replied biting her lip. “I can go if you want me too.”

He shook his head. “No, don't leave,” he replied before kissing her. She kissed him back, one hand resting on the back of his neck, the other on his waist. He pulled her inside his apartment, breaking apart in order to close the door.

She looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “I want you.”

He walked over to her and picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he kissed her. He walked them into his room, laying her on his bed before stripping off his shirt and joining her. He stared at her before rolling over to lay down nest to her. “I want this.... But you're drunk Stacey. I can't. I can't do this, you're not thinking clearly. Neither of us are,” he said softly.

Stacey frowned and looked over at him. “Bucky....”

“No. I can't do this. You mean too much to me. If this were to happen, I want it to be a decision you make sober. I don't want anything to be awkward between us if you wake up tomorrow and realize you made a mistake,” Bucky explained looking at her as he stroked her cheek. She nodded sadly and rolled over so she could leave. He watched as she left and groaned. He knew he was managing to make the right decision, but his alcohol induced state was telling him to go after her.

Later that night, he heard Stacey begin to whimper in her sleep. He got worried when the sound grew to the point of terrified yells. It sounded like she couldn't wake herself up this time. He got up and made his way into her apartment. He laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight. He kissed the back of her neck and ran his hands through her hair.

“It's ok Stacey. I'm here, everything is alright,” he whispered softly as she began to calm. She turned around and curled into his chest, whimpering. He rested his chin on top of her head as he began to rub small circles in her back. “Everything is alright,” he continued as she stopped whimpering. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, drifting off.


	4. Everything Has Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacey and Bucky wake up the next morning, both still in Stacey's bed. Will this change their relationship?

Stacey woke up the next morning, her head pounding. She realized that she was curled up against Bucky and blushed as she remembered what she had done. She didn't know why he was in her bed only in his boxers, but she didn't care as she looked up at his face, memorizing how the light fell across his face in case this was the only time she ever got to have this view.

Bucky opened his eyes and groaned before looking down at Stacey. “Morning, how's your head?” He asked softly, his hand reaching up to rest on the back of her neck.

“My head is in splitting pain. Is this how it feels when you're hungover?” She asked resting her forehead against his chest.

He laughed and patted her head. “Yes it is.”

“I remember most of what happened.”

He froze, waiting for what she would say next. If she felt uncomfortable with their current position, he would move and not talk about it again. He hoped though that she was okay with everything.

“I only have one question,” she continued looking up at him again. “Why are you in here? Last thing I remember you told me to leave and I came in here and fell asleep.”

He sighed and looked away from her, rolling onto his back. “You were having a nightmare again and you wouldn't wake up. I came in and soothed you until you began to sleep peacefully again. I must've dozed off. I'll leave if you want me to.”

She stared at him for a long time before moving and kissing his cheek. “No. I don't want you to leave. Stay here with me. Please.”

He nodded and looked back down at her. “As you wish.”

She smiled and rested her head on top of his chest again. “Thank you.... For being there.”

He played with her hair, smiling. “You're welcome.”

Stacey opened her mouth to say something when they heard Tony come into Stacey's apartment.

“Hey Capsicle, you're never gonna believe what Bruce did while we were at the conference,” he said as he opened the door to her bedroom. He noticed Bucky and smirked. “So you two finally hooked up. Took ya long enough. I think this means Clint wins the pool.”

Stacey had sat up when Tony had entered and glared at him. “What have I told you before about coming in unannounced?” She realized what he had said about her and Bucky and began to blush. “Nothing happened Tony. He helped me calm down after a nightmare.”

“Sure he did and you both had to be nearly naked to do so,” Tony replied chuckling as he turned around to leave. “I gotta go tell the others. They're all coming back today.”

She groaned and fell back against her pillows, bringing her hands up to cover her face. “I hate him. Now everyone's going to think something happened between us when nothing did.”

Bucky had looked away when Tony noticed him, but when Stacey started to complain, he looked over at her with sad eyes. “I doubt they'd believe him.”

“He'll ask JARVIS to check the tapes.”

“Oh.... But JARVIS knows nothing happened.”

“But something almost did happen Bucky, remember?” She replied as she removed her hands and looked up at him. “They won't care even if JARVIS says nothing happened. They'll see what I did, when I left your apartment, and then when you came into mine. That will be enough info for them.”

Bucky nodded and looked away as he got up. He didn't say anything as he walked towards the door. Stacey noticed that something was wrong and stopped him from leaving. “What is it Bucky?”

“It's nothing,” he replied, refusing to look at her. She moved so she was in front of him and forced him to look at her.

“James Buchanan Barnes you might think you're good at lying to everyone, but I can tell when you're hiding something,” she said as she removed her hands from his face. “Please, I want to know.”

“It hurts ok? It hurts me to think that you're so embarrassed that they may think that something happened between us last night,” he replied, rubbing his chin. “Is it really that bad of a memory or even plausible idea that you want to deny that something kinda did happen between us last night?”

She looked away from him, turning her attention to her feet. “No. I just don't want you to be embarrassed. You were the one who turned me away last night.”

He laughed sadly and shook his head. “Did you forget what I said about why I didn't want to do anything with you last night? Stacey, I told you that you mean too much to me. If something like that were to happen between us, that I want you to be sober if you ever make a decision like that. I don't want anything to be awkward between us if you were to wake up the next day and realize you made a mistake ”

She looked back up at him, tears threatening to fall. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean by that? Really? You don't understand that?” He asked staring at her in shock before remembering who she was. “Of course you don't. You always were oblivious when it came to things like this.”

Her lip began to tremble and she bit it to keep herself calm. “To things like what?”

He shook his head and reached behind her, placing a hand on her neck as he leaned forward and kissed her. “Like this.”

She froze at the kiss before relaxing into it. When he pulled away she smiled a little. “Oh. I see.”

“Do you?”

“I think so.”

“And?”

She leaned forward, kissing him softly. “What do you think?” She asked when she pulled away.

He smiled and kissed her cheek. “I think that we shouldn't worry about what they might think happened.” They both laughed, holding each other around the waist. “I love you Stacey.”

She looked up at him in surprise before grinning. “I love you too Bucky.”

“We should go up to the living room, they're probably waiting for us,” he said grabbing her hand. She nodded. Bucky went to his apartment quickly so that both of them could get dressed, they met again in the hall, grabbing each others hand, and intertwining their fingers as they headed up. They walked in and everyone noted their intertwined hands and smiled. Tony whispered something to Bruce, who in turn hit him. They sat down on the couch.

“I have to say, for nothing having happened, you two sure are acting like something did,” Tony said smirking.

Natasha hit Tony on the back of the head and turned towards the pair. “As always, ignore him. But congrats on finally actually discussing your feelings,” she said before sitting down next to Clint. “Oh, and Merry Christmas, we should start opening presents.”

Everyone nodded and Bruce began to distribute the presents. They started opening them, thanking whoever it was who it was from afterwords. When they were all on their last present they decided to take turns. Natasha went first with her present from Clint, she smiled at the set of barrettes created from bullets and hugged him. Bruce went next, receiving information on Betty and how Natasha had found her and offered her a place to stay at Stark Tower (with Tony's permission) that she happily accepted and said she'd be moving in just before New Years which caused Bruce to cry as he thanked Natasha and Tony. Thor opened his present from Tony to find a set of instructions on how to get JARVIS to video call Jane, and everyone had to cover their ears as he began to loudly talk about how happy he was and how he missed his 'Lady Jane.'

After Thor finally calmed down, Tony opened his present to find a drawing of him and Pepper from Stacey. He stared at it for a long time before hugging Stacey and thanking her. Clint opened his present from Thor to find a new bow made in Asgard, smiling he thanked Thor and promised to test it out soon.

Stacey and Bucky were the only ones with presents left to open. They each had a present from the other and agreed to open them at the same time. Bucky opened his to find an antique gun from the Civil War. He turned it over in his hands, tracing over the decorative plates that had been added onto the handle. Stacey opened hers to find a locket, opening it she found a picture of her parents and a picture of her and Bucky as kids. Stacey stared at the pictures, tears in her eyes.

“How did you find these?” She asked, hugging him.

“It had been something that I had made for you before the war. I was gonna give it to you after it ended, but as fate had it, I couldn't. Fury found it. Apparently Peggy had gone through my apartment as well,” he replied hugging her back. The others were a little confused, but decided it was best to leave the pair alone. Stacey eventually pulled away and kissed him.

“I love it. It's perfect.”

Bucky smiled warmly. “It thought you would, want me to put it on?”

Stacey nodded, handing it to him and turning, lifting up her hair. He placed the chain around her neck, clasping it, and hugging her from behind. He rested his chin on her shoulder and she leaned her head against his, her hand playing with the locket.

“Did you like your present?” She asked hopeful.

He turned his head and kissed her cheek. “I loved it. The engraved plates were a nice added touch.”

“I thought you would like that. I designed the plates and had Tony make them. The gun, I bought myself from an antique gun dealer. It still works, I tried it out.”

Bucky pulled away and stared at her. “What have I done to deserve you?”

Stacey turned around and kissed him. “I could ask the very same question.”


	5. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! Stacey and Bucky have been dating now for a few months and are now going on a long term mission together. Will everything go according to plan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I had writer's block. I hope y'all love this last chapter.

Stacey and Bucky's relationship flourished in the months to come. They became a well functioning machine and assigned on missions together unless it only required one. Coulson was their handler most of the time, enjoying the fact that he got to spend time with his childhood hero and make sure that Bucky never hurt his idol.

In late May, they were assigned to a long term mission. Go in undercover, recover info, and then take down the targeted group. They joked about how hard it was going to be to act as a married couple. It took them about two months to infiltrate the group, Bucky climbing through the ranks quickly and Stacey hanging around them as his wife becoming the groups secretary of sorts.

The leader made Bucky his right hand man five months into the mission and Stacey was trusted enough to become the official money handler. In two more months, SHIELD had everything they needed in order to take the group down and gave them the order.

They fought well together, covering each others backs. Stacey was surrounded by a small group of men, taking them down with her shield and bare hands, while Bucky was off fighting the leader. Stacey picked up her shield when she heard two shots, followed by two bodies hitting the ground. Her heart started pounding when she realized that she had heard the metallic clang of Bucky’s arm hitting the ground.

She quickly ran towards where Bucky had been and froze when she saw him leaning against a wall, hand pressed against a wound. She quickly called for a medical team on her comm as she ran over to him. "Bucky," she cried as she tore some fabric and wrapped it around his body, tying it in order to try and close the wound. He looked over at her, a soft smile on his face.

"I’m sorry Stace. He was too quick."

Stacey shook her head, keeping her hands pressed firmly on the wound, not looking at Bucky. “You’re not dying idiot. Not again. I promised you that I wouldn’t let you die. You can’t die on me again.”

Bucky chuckled sadly and raised her chin, forcing her to look at him as tears streamed down her face. He wiped at them with his thumb. “I know you did. But you can’t save everyone.”

Stacey nodded weakly, kissing him softly. “I can try dammit.”

Bucky laughed, coughing up blood. “You never know when to give up.”

Stacey shook her head. “I thought that was something you liked about me.”

Bucky nodded. “It is. Stacey….” He trailed off coughing.

Stacey kissed him again. “Don’t talk. Just focus on me. Medical will be here soon dammit.”

"I love you punk, til the end of the line," he replied, kissing her before going limp beneath her hands.

Stacey cried, kissing him again. “I love you too jerk. I’ll never stop loving you. Til the end of the line.” She leaned against him, crying until medical came and took him away. She stayed there, staring out across the room for another ten minutes before Coulson came in, forcing her to stand up and walk out the door.

Stacey disappeared after the funeral. Months later, Sam found her still grieving in a small apartment in Brooklyn under the name Sarah Grace Barnes. He tried talking to her and convince her to come back to the Avengers and Stark Tower because everyone was worried about her, but his attempts were useless. On the anniversary of Bucky's death, Stacey went to his grave and placed a single red rose on top.

“I've spent the whole past year refusing to pick up the shield or wear the uniform. Everyone keeps saying how they need Captain America to stop grieving for her lost lover because the world needs her. I know you would tell me that I should've gone back out there months ago, but I couldn't. I lost you twice Bucky. The worst part about losing you this time is that I was holding your body when I felt you die. I know that this time you can't come back. I have spent the last year grieving because of that. But I'm done. I know you wouldn't want this for me. You'd want me to move on. To pick the shield back up, put the uniform back on, and fight for the little guys. But I'm not doing that Buck. I'm fighting for you now. I still love you and I always will til my dying breath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for that ending.


End file.
